Dear self.

If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest!

- by Lumière from Disney's Beauty and The Beast

Blessed Tuesday morning everyone. I just came back from morning prayer and I'm surprised that I'm actually not curled up in bed right now, comfortably snoozing under my quilted cover with Mr Raffy in my arms up till 12 pm. Well because class is at 12.30 pm today and I had 2 hours of sleep just now. I thought I'd do something productive (this is much more productive than sleep, for now) before I catch up on sleep later on.

I haven't been nice to myself lately. I haven't been treating myself good at all. I've been selfishly taking care of everything else, but not myself. And *smack!*, I thought what the crap my body deserves much better than this. I haven't been sleeping properly since, well ... , since sometime ago. Be it tutorials, assignments, last-minute nerding especially or maybe just thinking. I'm always up to something till the wee hours of the morning.

Plus, I haven't been eating well too. Which is somewhat contradictory *stares at my layering belly*, I know. I remember that last Sunday, I had absolutely nothing. From breakfast to lunch to dinner, nothing. I came back here, in Subang at about 2000. Unpacked, changed my bedsheets, swept and mopped the floor, and died in bed right away. You can consider that I forgot, to eat. Then I jumped out of bed at 2330, realizing that I have Theatre Quiz 3 the next day. Studied but it didn't last long because I was mad hungry by then. Cooked myself Maggi at about 0030 and that was my Sunday breakfast + lunch + dinner, on Monday. And slept at 0445 later on.

Crap, it just hit me that I was super embarrassed when my tummy made crazy noise in the exam hall while I was doing my Calculus II test on Saturday evening.

Even when I don't have a due date or a quiz or a test the next day, I'm always up. My brain is super active at night where I have so many thoughts, all clustered up. So many problems, waiting to be resolved. So many questions, waiting to be answered. I've been thinking a lot about church lately. About my cell members to be precise. Well, I shall just leave this as it is.

But I am clearly putting my body on self-destruct mode if this goes on. Fellow pimples, zits, acnes on forehead, I can now understand why you guys keep multiplying. But I sincerely apologize for not being a good, responsible owner of this body, because I must keep up with my tutorials, assignments and whatnots. Everything is building up exponentially, with tests and quizzes every week as my finals are inching nearer day by day. I'm neither whining nor complaining but dear self, please be kind to me and hang in there fellow organs and body parts. I know Buddy Brain up there is mentally prepared and used to the crazy situations I put him in, but I promise I'll give the rest of you guys a break in the end. That will be in May. Look forward to it, self.

Love, your owner.

The pot of gold we'll soon find at the rainbow's end.

Oh, that was taken moments ago from Billy's car on the way back from Klang.

Edit: Oh, in addition. For my extra credit assignment for Theatre. Tomorrow (Wednesday) is Alter Ego day where all of us are required to be dolled up as our inner self. It's crazy difficult, I'd rather write a paper. I have no idea what/who to go as, but thank you Siah Eer Foo and fellow friend whom I approached for your suggestions. I didn't even pack anything 'different' for the week from my usual T-shirt-and-jeans combination, so I'll probably make up something with what I have and convince the class that it depicts my inner self, even if it isn't.

Have a great Tuesday.

God bless you.