Confessions, good for the soul they say.

Hello, fellow homo sapiens. Internet connection over here in hostel, win! Here's a couple of confessions.

I have quiz almost everyday and I hate it.

This isn't new or surprising. It has been like that since Mechanics and Heat, but I miss that and Statics now. I'm starting to dislike Linear Algebra and Cal3. Funny how I hated Differential Equation at first, but did well in my first quiz and screwed up the other two subjects' quizzes. It's the Three-Math-Subjects-in-one-sem effect, perhaps. Head's all clogged up with matrices and vectors. Those trusses and forces last semester, weren't that bad at all.

I can't talk to my mother like I use to, for now.

There's been a gap these days and I've grown used to it I must admit. It doesn't mean that I love her less, but if my need for (parental) attention isn't reciprocated, I should learn to live with it. As of now, I shall just consider that she's preparing both herself and I. But then again, I guess she doesn't know that I don't say much to anyone else. Maybe it's time for me to grow up and be less clingy.

I don't like being lied to.

I believe nobody does. There is no such thing as a white lie, in my humble opinion. If you think the truth will hurt me, well the lie hurts even more. I can't seem to differentiate what's honest and what's made-up anymore. Because the liars seem to be the people I trust (well, use to). Don't blame me for keeping things to myself.

I would flush bleach down a certain someone's mouth, if I could.

We all want to, don't we? I respect people who speak out their minds, but I'd honor those who will do it through their heads first. Call me touchy but there are lines that you just don't cross. The world's a masquerade, isn't it?

I take walks.

Everyone has got their own ways to distract themselves. Some sing, some paint, some read, some sleep, some talk to a friend, some smoke, some drink, some dance, some party. I take walks. I find it fascinatingly therapeutic. No specific routes (I wouldn't want to bump into anybody when I take my walks) but when I'm here, the canopy walk, elephant walk and the swimming pool are great. Parks are fine too. Not the best (or the safest) idea, but it works just splendid for me.

I am 100% Hokkien, Ng and Klang, but Subang is not that bad.

I may not be fluent (worst in the family) but I speak 'understandable' Hokkien. Dear Lims, Ng also very special okay! (Haha) Jokes aside, I may not be proud of whom I got the Ng from but I'm proud to be the Ng that I am. And lastly, you can take a girl out of Klang but can never take the Klang out of the girl. As much as I complaint about Subang, it's not all her fault I suppose. I'm just being childish, repelling and refusing to accept changes. Well like people say, changes are necessary. Subang taught me plenty of things and that would be in a separate post altogether.

I have a private blog.

Approximately two years old now. I write and read it, to and for me only. I use to keep a diary/journal (and successfully undiscovered) but I find it a waste of paper (really!). Maybe because I write too much. But anyway, I think it's essential to keep track of your thoughts and feelings on a regular basis. It's pretty fun too! It's funny to read what I wrote three years ago, when I was probably furious as ever at the time I wrote it.

I miss Hisyam.

So sick of having brunners (breakfast, lunch and dinner altogether) alone. So sick of sitting in the front row, in class, alone (nobody ever sits in the front row, but us). So sick of not having a friend to compare results with. So sick of not having a friend to crack lame, spontaneous, intelligent (sort of) jokes with. Kawan, why you go INTI? Life is unfair.

That's all to confess, as much as I can think of. I should go solve some ODE for quiz tomorrow, or maybe sleep so that I get enough rest and go for morning prayer, or maybe watch a movie and then sleep.

 Goodnight, Love, Jas Min.