Madness.

*deleted*

Mama's super worried cos' I stayed up all night yesterday.

No idea why suddenly.

And angry too.

But she got her happy dosage already.

So not that much of anger.

90 minutes of Calculus II, come to muhmas.

Edit: This post was created on Sunday at 0446, deleted the contents on Monday at 1112 and currently editing this again at 2200. Don't want to create three separate posts, but anyway. Here's my current situation, I'm super tired because I have not had sufficient sleep to replace the one I missed on Saturday night, but I have Physics test tomorrow, but my roommate is sound asleep with the lights off, but here I am typing with the help of my dim table lamp. I wonder if that sentence made sense considering that I'm connecting everything with buts.

Rant list:

1. I just had dinner with my collegemates (for the first time) and it was awkward. I didn't quite fit in but it was alright because nothing can possibly go wrong with an empty stomach and food.

2. Before dinner with them was the THEA 1000 rehearsal, which went pretty good I think. We practiced our finale song.

3. During dinner, I discovered that 3 out of 6 people who went for dinner, smokes. 2 out of the 3 being females. Well, I was stoning, eating and taking in secondhand smoke at the same time.

4. Did I tell you about my biased Calculus lecturer? Yes, he awards extra points to those who attends classes on Saturdays. Classes which I happen to miss, because I go back to Klang. And he's doing it again this time. Cleverly, in fact. Just so that I cannot afford to miss it now. He arranged a midterm test this Saturday, an irreplacable, non-negotiable midterm test. I would kill him if permissible.

5. Calculus test today went better than expected, considering that I prepared nothing. Well, if memorizing formulas is counted, then yes I did prepare.

6. I found a shop where I could develop my camera films! And double plus point, it's in Pyramid! Gosh, I can finally take rolls of photos without worrying where and how to get em' printed.

7. And I've got my eyes on a decent toy camera. It's fairly priced - less than a Diana but much more than my Golden Half. It's a Holga!

8. Now, that's my problem. I spend on unnecessary, pricey stuff and to worsen the entire thing, I actually save for it. I should probably get myself a cheap pair of earphones instead.

9. I have Physics test tomorrow and I have not studied, a single bit. Based on how badly I screwed up for Quiz 6 last Thursday, I realize that silly mistakes for Physics can really make me emo. I usually forget about it, but not Physics. It annoys, irritates, destroys, disrupts me for the entire day. I had no lunch and dinner that Thursday, that's how angry I was, at myself.

10. Nevertheless, I ought to be lazy once in a while. Lazy, in the extreme scale (since I'm always lazy, so lazy would just make me seem normal this time). I shall join my roommate and sleep in peace now, and then force my very being to attempt to solve every question at 0400. Note that I mentioned, attempt.

11. My brother left home for his new home today. I'm really proud of him and I'm sure my elder brother and mum are too. I wish I could be with mummy now, cos' she confirm emo because of all the loneliness and silence at home now. Because she just called me, complaining about no one doing the house chores. My mama can sure twist things around with her words. All I can do is to pray for my brother.

12. Someone said I should turn my cardmaking into a business. Which I don't quite think so. A myriad of reasons why it wouldn't work, of course. It's time-consuming, and time's not really my good friend you see. It wouldn't serve its purpose of being unique anymore. Everyone would get the same card, same design, same color, etc. Like all internet businesses, managing postage and delivery can be quite a hassle and I'm not ready for all those. Mostly, I don't think I'm good enough to sell my cards. As if lah, anyone would buy my card.

13. But with business, comes money. The moolahs necessary for better equipments and tools! I am sick of using a butter knife as my bone folder and scorer. Yes, laugh all you want. I feel like an idiot with all the crazy improvisations I've made. And my score lines aren't really accurate, which is why I need a bone folder and a score board.

14. How did I go from wanting to sleep (#10) to making cards? This is too long. Goodbye for now!

I miss this darling, here's him sleeping on my leg.

He should be accompanying mama now. Haha.

Goodnight and God bless you readers (does anyone read this site anymore anyway).

Oh, and with the addition of the nuke plant explosion in Japan, do pray for the affected people. My heart goes out for them.

Like one said, if God brings Japan to it, He will bring them through it.

God, heal the world.

Love, Jas Min.